Blog: This is dedicated to the mom I love...

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

My mom, Doreen, is awesome! That's her in the photo with the quote from another powerful 'mother'...her words describe my mom...a beautiful gift of love!

It's been nearly 12 years since I moved away from my hometown to the other side of the world, but in some ways the distance has made my relationship with my mom stronger and more precious. With each passing year our conversations have grown deeper and have become meaningful. Each word we use is carefully chosen, lest it be the last one spoken. 

My mom is reaching an age where each time we Skype I feel a need to make sure nothing is left unsaid, that we are complete and that we know our love for each other. We even have virtual hugs and kisses!

I believe I have been very fortunate to have the mom I do. She was never a smothering mother, and that worked for both of us! She's never told me what or who I had to be in the world. Nor, has she ever pushed her viewpoint on me. She let me become who I wanted to be and I will forever appreciate this of her! We both are very strong, independent women in our own ways and it was this independence that shaped my life deeply in the way it has. 

My mom taught me well. She taught me by letting me see the consequences of my actions. She taught me by giving me opportunities to find my sense of responsibility. She showed me that she loved me by her actions. Sometimes it was a snuggle on the couch or a hug. But sometimes these actions were the opposite of what love looked like to me, it felt like tough love. With the fullness of time I saw that it was her wisdom to look beyond the moment that has helped me grow. 

I have looked beyond the moments now, as a mom myself, and can see the reasoning behind her parenting. Of course in those moments she may not have known how deeply her actions would affect me, then and now...especially now. I have taken many pages from her book and applied them to my own parenting. 

I so love mothering my son, Aydn. Giving birth to him was the single most empowering moment of my life to date. I have loved raising him and he's made it very easy to be the kind of mom to him that my mom was with me, with a few tweaks of course! A wise, gentle soul and very independent...just like me and grandma!

I don't expect anything on Mother's Day, nor do I make a big deal out of it. I feel that however the day is celebrated should come from my son. I usually get a carefully crafted something from school and a hug. There have been moments on other days where I feel more a mother than any other time. One day Aydn said to me...'mum, I may not act like I need you, but in my heart I do'. I melted into a squishy puddle of love in that moment. I don't need a 'day' to let me know how motherhood works!

My mom and I are great friends. She knows me through and through. I see her for who she is as a woman more than a mom now, but she'll always be my mom. I love my mom for all her strength and grounding and it's this same strength and grounding that I pass on to my son. My only wish is that he can look back on his childhood with the same feelings for me that I have for my mom! It's all a mother could ask for really.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there, the mothers of this world, to my pregnant mummy friends and the mothers full of years and love. 

For another day, I am passionately yours,
Ava

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