As Raymond Chandler says, every time we say goodbye, we die a little, but in doing so we also say hello to something new, something that might not have been possible without the letting go...
What or who will you be saying goodbye to tonight, as you farewell 2012?
Despite saying a final goodbye in death, one of my favourite memories is big burly bear hugs from my dad. As a kid he used to envelope me in his truck driver body and I loved it...being squished to within an inch of my life! I can still feel his arms and his big chuckle to go with that hug. Whenever I feel the desire to talk with my dad or feel his presence, I need look no further than my heart and my memories
I believe that goodbye is never forever so long as we have our memories.
I would like to end this blog post by thanking each and every one of you who has supported me in my 2012 adventures with passion, purpose, and possibility!
I look forward to many more passionate conversations with you as 2013 sets in motion!
May your 2013 be your best year ever!
I have a motto:
I begin with the end in mind.
In everything I presently do I think about how it will affect the end of my life, whenever that time comes.
I often think of what people would say at my funeral if I were to die today. Would I be happy with their remarks, feelings, reactions and thoughts?
Or would I want a different result?
How I live my life now is how I'd want them to speak when I die.
I live with integrity, because I want to be remembered as someone with integrity. I live being respectful and honest because that's how I want to be remembered. I live for love because I want those around me when I die to share love...
You get the idea, right?
Is this something you've thought of...has my comment made you think of how your end might look one day, and the impact your life will have had?
Today I'd like to leave you with this quote with you...what are your thoughts?
Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays and New Year's Eve are often times when we remember the people in our lives who have died or have 'left' our lives in other ways.
I remember the people in my life who have died in visual ways. I remember where I was when I received the call that they died or the day of their funeral or the last time I saw them alive. It's the setting that I can see in my mind's eye and I remember every one of them as if they were yesterday.
But I don't dwell there...not in sadness anyway...
I choose to remember that person at their best and love them where they were at in their life before they died. It's just what I do to make my peace with death, I suppose.
Because of the way I approach death and dying I rarely see a person's death as a grief I will never get over. But perhaps there is only one that would make me feel this way and he's still alive, and is my son. The death of a child is just one of those death's that go against the grain of life and living and no amount of what I teach could ever change that, but for the space to share and grieve together.
Back to remembering...what do you remember about your 'dead people'?
Yes, that does sound morbid...but then again...death is about morbidity, but is it wrong to be so honest, blunt even? We all die, some much sooner than expected, and for this it is a loss.
In light of the recent deaths in Connecticut, USA, and also, the deaths of children everywhere, I share with you a video of Eric Clapton's song, written about his son who died suddenly and accidentally, in 1991, 'Tears in Heaven'...
Remembering can be sad, happy, and everything in between...
It keeps your heart beating another day for those you love
...tell them so...today.
Happiness, to me, seems as elusive as grasping at waves in the ocean...
You can see the wave and experience its pressure against your body, but the minute you try to take it in your hands it disperses into nothing but water flowing between your fingers.
If, however, you just allow the wave to wash past you or enjoy the thrill of its surf then it becomes an experience you can see, feel and witness beyond the physical sensations around your body.
Happiness happens much like a wave...You have to let it wash over you and when it's time for the ride, well, hop on and enjoy it while it lasts!
According to the Dalai Lama, happiness is not something that is ready made, but which comes from our own actions. Riding the wave of happiness is an action you take and what follows is your bliss, what you love, loving who you are and who you know.
It's these qualities that make me appreciate times when I have felt my happiest...to be alive right here and now, experiencing what it is to be me in my circumstances now.
The funny thing about happiness, much like the greatest wave you've ever ridden...the ride ends, whether it's a temporary ending or the end of a life, happiness is impermanent...
Live your happy moments, cherish them but let them go when their time has passed with the faith that more will be waiting for you just over the horizon.
In much the same conversation...here are two TEDtalksDirector for your viewing pleasure!
Matthieu Ricard (April, 2008) and Dan Gilbert (April, 2012) speak of happiness in very different, yet similar, ways:
I'd like to know from you...what makes you feel happy and why?
What are your cherished moments and how have they enriched your life?
Please leave your comments below or in the Facebook comments section...
I have been pondering opposites today.
Opposite feelings...or ambivalence.
Good/bad. Right/wrong. Up/down...you get the idea...
Life and death are opposite, that's about as opposite as it gets!
What sometimes results from these opposites is a judgement placed on another because they seem different, and difference can be seen as wrong when viewed from a particular perspective.
I have learned that the more I accept what is, and what isn't, in a particular situation, person, group or even within myself, the less judgmental I feel about said situation, person, group or myself.
Accepting what is/isn't doesn't make it good or bad, right or wrong...
...it just is, period.
The tricky bit is accepting the negative without making it or them wrong. The 'wrong' in a situation or a person is the meaning we attach and how this meaning relates to aspects of who we are at the time.
By accepting 'what is' as neither good nor bad, freedom happens where judgement once stood. There is a freedom to be in the presence of a situation or person without making it mean anything.
I think judgement comes from fear of difference...fear of accepting difference. The funny thing is, there is no 'same'...we are all different in our own unique way, even twins are different!
And ain't that a beautiful thing!
The first step is accepting who we are fully, warts and all. When we accept our beauty and our flaws seamlessly as one whole then we accept others in the same way.
I leave you with my favourite subject...death, plus living because of it...
and a quote from the ever sexy, sultry...
The acceptance of death gives you more of a stake in life, in living life happily, as it should be lived. Living for the moment.
Here you will find the musings of me...
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